I have a dream…

I remember writing my first article ever to be printed in hard copy when I was a junior in high school. I had just joined the school newspaper staff, and was assigned my first article ever: to review a local Japanese sushi restaurant. It was nothing much, just a small section in the entertainment section, and the contents were barely impressive; just your basic amateur reviewer heaping glowing raves because she is just so ecstatic to have her name printed and has yet to master the art of true criticism.

I progressed from there on, being promoted from staff writer to entertainment editor, and writing many more articles other than restaurant reviews. Even so, I still loved writing reviews most, and tried to grab any chance I could get on writing any review articles, be it food, music, movies, or books.

Another type of writing I loved most was features. I loved interviewing people, talking to them and listening to them talk, digesting the bits and bites of their personal details to form a full, organized picture of their story to the readers.

It was from this stint in my school newspaper that I eventually decided what I wanted to do the most was to interact with people, to write about them, and to experience and observe all sorts of things to share my opinion and thoughts on them. So, I chose to be a journalist. That is my goal, my passion. My plan was to graduate with a degree in magazine journalism in the Medill School of Journalism at Northwestern University, then find a prestigious internship at some magazine company, then get my masters degree at Columbia University. Big plans, great dreams.

Then anorexia struck. Long story short: I got into Northwestern with a full scholarship, but got hospitalized and was sent back home just a month later. I gained some weight and tried to return to school, but they required me to have proof of treatment at an eating disorder residence, which I refused (and had no money for). I reapplied to other schools, and got into University of Southern California. But before I could actually attend, I relapsed and had to postpone my enrollment to Spring semester. Spring rolled by, but I had barely gained any weight; in fact, I lost even more. So I asked permission for another delay…and that brings me to now, where I am still waiting for their decision. It is highly probable that they will say no, as I am being re-evaluated among all the other freshmen. Thing is, I am no longer “fresh.” I am almost 22 years old; it’s been more 3 years since I last touched a textbook.

Meanwhile, I am still…still trying to recover. At this weight, even if the school re-admitted me, I would not be able to attend. It’s a sobering, terrifying thought, one that grips me with icy fear and panic. Will I make it? Will I ever be able to fulfill my dreams to be a great journalist?

As I pray to God about this, He comforts me. He opens my eyes to discover that I don’t need a college degree to become a good journalist. Hell, I’m getting all the training I can get right now with all the experiences He has provided me. I give thanks to Him for letting me discover the blogging community. While blogging I practice my writing skills so they don’t go rusty, while meeting many incredible people and reading their stories and their own struggles.

Most of all, I have discovered the power of the internet. Gone are the days of newspapers, magazines, even radio and broadcast. Now is the age of the wireless, of the citizen writer. Everyone can be a journalist now. Writing and sharing online is even more interactive, efficient, and rewarding. Thus I have switched my choice of major from magazine journalism to online journalism.

If I ever get into college, that is. Which is one of the reason I’m still clinging and fighting. I have a passion, God gave me that passion, and I am going to fulfill that passion, damn it!

So it is in that spirit that I made today’s lunch: in memory of my first article ever to be printed about sushi (albeit in a crappy high school newspaper), I present to you: “I’m going to California” roll.

It’s called that because it’s has most of the components of a California roll: crabmeat (imitation), carrots, cucumbers. And because so help me God, I am going to USC (University of Southern California)!!!! The only thing that’s missing though, is avocado, which I left out because 1) It’s expensive and I am mega-broke, and 2) I dislike avocadoes. Always have. Love the color, hate the texture and blandness.

I made two rolls. Both had a crabmeat salad, carrots, and cucumbers, but one had pearled barley as the base and the other had the roasted winter squash.

Here are the ingredients that went into the crabmeat salad:imitation crabmeat, plain yogurt, cucumber-garlic cheese spread, salt and pepper.

For the sushi barley “rice”: pearled barley, splash of vinegar, sweetener, salt.

Sorry, no exact measurements, I just taste-and-tested as I went.

It’s amazing how clean and fresh these tasted even though made mainly from leftovers.

Heh heh. These are the “Rejects” that were too ugly to make it into the previous picture. Don’t worry, they still got “first place” in my stomach. I ate them up first.

Here’s a close-up of the one with the barley:

And another one of the roasted winter squash:

One fat roll having a nice bath in soy sauce:

I think I liked the one with roasted squash more, but the barley one had great chewy texture.

The colors are so bright and cheery, I decided to go with a more somber tone with this one to match my above story…

One of the perks of not being in college? Lots of free time to bake! I was baking chocolate-pumpkin swirl cheesecake brownie for a friend’s b-day, and had some leftover brownie batter which I popped into a muffin pan…

Topped with chocolate-pumpkin cream cheese…

I’ll try to remember to take a picture of the grand product tomorrow!

Another reason I love the blogging community? Fun, uplifting rewards! Here are not just one, but two blogging awards I received!

This one was from Emily:

And this one from Katherine Aucoin!

Thank you, thank you, thank you, Emily and Katherine! You have totally cheered me up when I needed it the most.

Ah, and now comes the dilemma of who I should pass them on to! I’ve been brooding over this for the longest time, and have finally reached the decision…I’m sending the “I <3 your Blog” award to Heather of Heather Eats Almond Butter and Reeni of Cinnamon, Spice & Everything Nice, for their amazing, creative, and delicious recipes!

The “Excellent” award to Ellie of Inside I’m still Dancing and Lexi from Live.Life for their strength and courage in continuing their personal battles. No matter what, you guys are EX-CELLENT little troopers and don’t you ever forget it! Rock on, sisters!

Hmm. Today’s post has been all about me, me, me. But since I’ve already crossed the border to narcissism, why not go all the way? So for today’s question, instead of me asking you lame questions, I’m challenging you to come up with fresher questions for me. Yup, ask me anything, and I shall answer! Seek, and you shall receive! (Except…I draw the line when it comes to asking questions like what’s my credit card PIN number…not that there’s any savings left anyway…)